Start Where Your Client is, But Don't Stay There!

As most effective helpers know, all good helping starts with expressing empathy. That means really listening to what people are saying, understanding where they're coming from, and letting them know you get it without judging them. Active listening skills, like reflections, can help with this.

Guiding Towards Goals

When you're using Motivational Interviewing, your task is to help people reach their goals by getting them to talk about their motivation out loud. When people talk about making a change ("change talk"), it actually boosts their motivation and makes it more likely they'll follow through. On the flip side, if they keep talking about why they don't want to change ("sustain talk"), it reinforces their resistance to change.

Balancing Empathy and Motivation

So, how do you show empathy for someone's struggles with change while still nudging them towards motivation in a way that doesn't push them away?

One approach is to "start where your client is, but don't stay there." This means acknowledging and accepting where they are currently, even if they're not ready to change. Once you've shown understanding for their current perspective, you can gently explore why they might consider making a change.

Using Double-Sided Reflections

A helpful technique is using double-sided reflections. Start by reflecting their lack of motivation (sustain talk), and then pivot to reflect their motivation (change talk). For example, "On the one hand, it sounds like you really enjoy having some drinks to unwind (reason not to change) , but on the other hand, it sounds like it makes you feel really bad the day after (reason to change)." By ending with and focusing on their reasons for change, you can guide the conversation in that direction and strengthen their motivation.

Embracing Motivational Language

By paying attention to both sustain talk and change talk, and showing empathy towards their reluctance while encouraging their motivation, you can steer the conversation towards their goals effectively. Remember, it's about starting where they are, but not leaving them stuck there!

Contributed by Mary Beth Abella, MSW

Contact Mary Beth at marybeth@miforchange.com